1. Pants are annoying.
Every nap should conclude by taking off one's pants and yelling "Naked baby butt!"
Example:
2. It is necessary to narrate everything your Mommy or Daddy does as loudly as possible.
Ex: In Miami, Sophie and I were bra shopping. She felt it necessary to tell everyone about my "biiiiig boobies." Awesome.
3. Vegetables hit the ground every time they are dropped/thrown.
Yes, it's true. And you, my dear, have to pick them up every time as well.
4. Toys belong everywhere but in the room where you sleep.
There's nothing I love more than stepping on a puzzle piece in the middle of the night when going to the bathroom.
5. Eating like a kitty cat is normal, and should be an every day occurrence.
Ex:
6. It is necessary to give a play-by-play narration to one's day-to-day happenings.
Ex: Sophie will be running ("Running so fast!") to get her ball ("Get the ball.") and she'll trip and fall ("I fell.") and maybe bonk her head ("Bonked my head.") It's actually quite cute.
7. One must follow directions literally or not at all.
Ex: Sophie and Jim were playing.
Sophie: Again?
Jim: Say please.
S: Please?
J: Now say the whole thing.
S: The whole thing.
Ex: Sophie was drinking water from her sippy, and there were wet spots all over the table.
Me: Sophie, when you drink, try to hold your cup up.
Sophie picked up her cup and held it over her head.
Stinker. I meant not to turn it upside down.
8. Feigning deafness is fun.
Sophie seems to not hear us a lot, usually when she's reading or when it's time for bed.
9. One must always yell/scream whenever anyone doesn't do what you want right at that precise moment.
Can you imagine doing this at work? Your boss comes in, tells you he needs a report, and you just scream at him?
Ex: I made cupcakes for Cirque in Miami and I was taking pictures of them. Yes, in front of Sophie, so it was totally my fault. Check out the progression in these photos. PS I think we let her have two (minis) before I even took pictures.
10. And lastly, it is necessary to be as cute as possible at all times. Or, most of the time, if you're two.
And not grow up too quickly.
